Liberal or Conservative?

If a Conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.   

If a Conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a Liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.   

If a Conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.   

If a Conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.   

If a Conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.   

If a Conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A Liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

If a Conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.   

I also know that Liberals will deny they think this way, then pass legislation saying Liberals are really Conservative.