Bristol Derangement Syndrome

We have the daughter of a famous politician constantly being attacked by the compassionate, caring, understanding, tolerant Left. The Left constantly harangues all to leave politicians' kids alone. Of course the Obama’s bring their kids into all sorts of issues, “Did you plug the hole yet daddy?” and Ms Obama talking about her kid’s BMI as she pushes for $billions to have the government to control what we eat.

Bristol Palin goes dancing and the Left has a fit of outrage and stupidity. The disgusting and vile alleged comedian Kathy Griffin at a USO show for the troops mock Bristol for being fat, "She's the only contestant in the history of ["Dancing with the Stars"] to actually gain weight." "She's like the white Precious." We were happy to hear the troops booing her.

Then there’s the low life bottom sucking scumbag Keith Olbermann (I suppose this is acceptable language to identify him since he had no problem calling Michele Malkin a mashed up bag of meat) that got all over this twenty year old woman for being Candie's Foundation's abstinence spokesperson. We love Bristol’s response (on Facebook):

“What Mr. Olbermann lacks in originality he makes up for with insincere incredulity. Mr. Olbermann fails to understand that in order to have credibility as a spokesperson, it sometimes takes a person who has made mistakes. Parents warn their children about the mistakes they made so they are not repeated. Former gang members travel to schools to educate teenagers about the risks of gang life. Recovered addicts lecture to others about the risks of alcohol and drug abuse. And yes, a teen mother talks about the benefits of preventing teen pregnancy.

I have never claimed to be perfect. If that makes me the "worst person in the world" to Mr. Olbermann, then I must apologize for not being absolutely faultless like he undoubtedly must be.”

 Alleged comedian Margaret Cho had this to say about Bristol on Dancing with the Stars:  

“I heard from someone who really should know (really should seriously know the dirt really really) that the only reason Bristol was on the show was because Sarah Palin forced her to do it.

“Sarah supposedly blames Bristol harshly and openly (in the circles that I heard it from) for not winning the election, and so she told Bristol she ‘owed’ it to her to do DWTS so that ‘America would fall in love with her again’ and make it possible for Sarah Palin to run in 2012 with America behind her all the way. Instead of being supposedly ‘handicapped’ by the presence of her teen mom daughter, now Bristol is going to be an ‘asset’—a celebrity beloved for her dancing.”

It’s all made up BS.

Bristol’s response (on Facebook):

“I met so many interesting people on Dancing With The Stars. It was an incredible experience that I will cherish the rest of my life. I have explained my own motivations for accepting the invitation to dance, which included the simple fact that I was ready to get out of my comfort zone and try something new and challenging. I thought dancing would also be a great way to exercise–and it was. I thought it would boost my confidence–and it did. Notably absent from this calculus were political considerations. You want to talk politics, talk to my mom. You want to talk rumba, waltz and the beautiful Spanish paso doble, I’m your girl (but if you want to talk to the expert, call Mark).

So with this in mind I was somewhat taken aback to read about me in a blog by my friend and fellow contestant, Margaret Cho. In a post she called “Pistol Whipped” she wrote that “the only reason Bristol was on the show was because Sarah Palin forced her to do it. Sarah supposedly blames Bristol harshly and openly . . . for not winning the election,and so she told Bristol she “owed” it to her to do DWTS . . . .” Let me shamelessly steal from Saturday Night Live: “Really, Margaret? Really?”

I will give my friend credit for creativity, and extra points for getting so many “facts” wrong in so few sentences. Let me be blunt: my mom did not “force” me to go on DWTS. She did not ask me either. The show approached me. I thought about it. I made the decision. After first worrying for me in terms of being exposed to those who hate us for what we believe in, both my mom and my dad became my number one supporters. Anyone who watched the show could tell I performed better, and I felt better about myself, when they were in the audience. I wanted to make them both proud, but politics had nothing to do with it. Loving my parents had everything to do with it.

It saddens me that people would think that my mom would “blame” me for anything that occurred in the 2008 election–much less “harshly” and “openly.” I think that canard (there, I said it again), has been floating around since then also. I will set the record straight, though my mom already did in her bestselling book “Going Rogue”; there were a number of reasons President Obama won in 2008, but the primary reason was that the economy was starting to falter and the majority of voters thought Obama could do a better job than my mom and John McCain. It turns out, two years later, the majority of voters were wrong, but we can talk about that another time. The point is, I seriously doubt anyone who considers herself a student of American politics truly believes I impacted even one vote in that election.

There you have it. Why do I want to set the record straight? Because it is this type of hurtful and false narrative that people promote to make my mom look bad. For 20 years my mom had my back–and for the rest of my life I will have hers.

To my friend Margaret Cho, if you ever have a question, call me girlfriend. Don’t ever rely on “sources” who claim to know me or my family. You will be taken every time. And we need to talk. You say you “don’t agree with the family’s politics at all” but I say, if you understood that commonsense conservative values supports the right of individuals like you, like all of us, to live our lives with less government interference and more independence, you would embrace us faster than KD Lang at an Indigo Girls concert.

P.S. If you want to baby-sit Tripp, I could use a night off.

Bristol Palin

 Because these responses are on Facebook, it has been a “news” item in the Jurassic Press asking if Bristol Palin has a ghost writer. Stupid fat girl couldn’t possibly come up with that kind of in your face counter attack on alleged entertainers and “news” people. Plus, the FCC has gotten complaints about members of the vast right wing conspiracy corrupting the competition.

Here’s some deranged quotes about Dancing with the Stars:

From a Pittsburg viewer:

 “…fixed by extreme supporters of the Tea Party and Radical Right-Wing. I find that it has become a political platform for Sarah Palin to improve her image and ooze her political slime.”… “Bristol is not a star, what did she do, she had sex and got pregnant. Lets reward her…I made several calls to ABC’s complaint line and I hope that their phone lines melt. It has become a political movement, with Tea Party websites instructing on how to vote for Bristol. Ridiculousness!”

…and when a judge hugged Bristol:

“…no other dancer was called over for a hug,” (it was a) “signal for the GOP/Tea Party supporters of Sarah Palin to ‘stuff’ the vote for Bristol Palin, who on both dates had to be dragged over the dance floor.”…“My 96 year old Mother-in-Law can dance better than Ms. Palin...I want my Government to protect me the viewer from deceptive practices.”

Then there was the knucklehead that blew his TV away with a shotgun he was so outraged by Bristol Palin.

I heard that Bristol flipped the bird to the deranged and stupid attackers of her and her mother. If true, I say, well done Bristol.