The New Progressive Bible

This is a hilarious satire updating the Bible to meet modern Leftist beliefs and values. Here's a taste. Full article here. 

The New Modern Library's Progressive Bible is written within a scope of only 200 words to make it accessible to everyone. It is produced in various versions, each of which targets a wide range of demographics, from God-free to God-lite (less than 3% opiate for the masses) to the Rick James "Superfreak" Version, and is suitable for any occasion - pick one that best fits your current moral needs. In the Egalitarian Bible, for instance, God is equal to everybody else in the story. He votes, drives a hybrid, is in debt, uses recreational drugs, hates Bush, participates in peace marches, complains about the minimum wage, and feels lousy about nothing like everybody else.

Exactly half of the characters are women (50% of the kings are now queens). Solomon is Shirley. Very few of the characters are Jews. Some of them are mentally retarded; the rest are progressive minorities, with the ever growing Hispanic representation and a vocal Muslim voting bloc, as well as a gay, lesbian, and transgender alliance, mirroring life itself.

Every progressive Christian worth his/her/its "pillar of salt" is sure to enjoy the revised story of Moses, whose crusading band of Zionist aggressors ambushed the disenfranchised Egyptian freedom fighters in what became known as the "Red Sea Massacre."

Other revised inspirational stories of moral relativism include:

·             The Organic Garden of Eden

·             Pharaoh Has Two Mummies

·             What Happens in Sodom and Gomorrah Stays in Sodom and Gomorrah

·             Noah Builds Ark to Survive Global Warming

·             Jonah Saves the Whale

·             David Appeases Goliath

·             The Bilingual Writing on the Wall

·             The Tower of Babel & The Controlled Demolition Theory

·             Uncle Samson & The NY Times Reporter Delilah

·             Judas The ACLU Lawyer

·             Joseph & Mary Celebrate Holiday Season By Donating Fetus To Federal Embryonic Stem Cell Bank

·             Government Program Feeds The Multitudes with Five "Whole Grain" Loaves And Two Non-Endangered Fishes

Fr. Robert Barron on Reading the Bible

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pP2InFa16D0&feature=player_embedded

PETA and the Deconstruction of the Bible

Part of the attack on Christianity is deconstructing the Bible, changing the language to fit the times. Leftists do it to the Constitution to pass laws that are in violation of the Constitution. Leftists in the Christian community do the same by agreeing to change the language of the Bible. There have been attempts to make scripture gender neutral for example, and now some alleged Christians are siding with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) to change scripture because it’s “speciesist". These knuckleheads even make up words to create an issue.

PETA and their supporters in the Christian community think using ‘it” to identify an animal is wrong, and animals should be identified as ‘he’ and ‘she’. There’s lots of animals in the Bible. Would giving them a gender, that in the case of the Torah and the rest of the Old Testament, give more meaning and understanding to God’s Word?

Bruce Friedrich is PETA's vice president for policy, and claims to be a practicing Roman Catholic. How one could be an animal worshipper and Christian at the same time mystifies. He’s said some ridiculous things, and obviously doesn’t understand the meaning of Scripture.

Some of his observations:

"Language matters. Calling an animal 'it' denies them something. They are beloved by God. They glorify God." How do they glorify God? Do they pray, sing hymns, feed and clothe the poor? Glory in the Biblical sense means recognizing God's divine quality. How would an animal to that?

“What happens in slaughterhouses mocks God.” People know intuitively that "animals are 'who' not 'what.' ... Acknowledging it would better align our practices with our beliefs.”  God requested a lot of animals to be sacrificed to Him. So I suppose He was having that done to mock Himself? Animals are understood to be who? Who was that masked raccoon? What practices and beliefs is this guy aligning?

“God’s covenant is with humans and animals. God cares about animals." I would think that’s a rather unanimous opinion among biblical scholars today, where that might not have been the case 200 years ago.” The second part of the quote is just made up nonsense. Of course God cares about everything in His creation. What He doesn’t have, is a covenant with animals. A covenant is an agreement between two people or groups of people, and they make a promise to each other, usually for a lifetime. People 200 years ago didn't think God cared about animals? What?

Then there’s a covenant between God and people, Again it’s an agreement. God made a covenant with Noah not to flood the Earth again. He made a covenant with David, He made a covenant with Abraham. Don’t read about any covenants where animals and God agreed to things. In CS Lewis’ The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the lion had a covenant that he would sacrifice himself, but that’s fiction, which is what PETA and all the rest want to do with the Bible; turn it into a piece of fiction. In real life, Jesus did in fact sacrifice himself. Don't suppose PETA and their supporters can wrap their souls around that. I wonder, taking a poll, how many PETA member and Gaia worshipers are Christians? My bet would be they are anti-Christian bigots, atheists, pagan Gaia and animal worshipers.

The word itself, covenant, comes from the Hebrew word “to cut”. People in those days would cut a piece of meat, whether a he or she animal we don’t know, to seal an agreement. Sometimes they would share a meal of meat, he or she we don’t know, to seal a deal. Animal blood, he or she we don’t know, was sprinkled on altars to seal a covenant. I’ll bet all those sacrificed animals, he or she we don’t know, didn't have a covenant with God to be sacrificed.  

Then there’s the problem of language. Gender specific terms are used differently in ancient languages than in modern languages. The PETA people and their supporters would just have to make stuff up again. Every time there’s an animal mentioned in the Bible, instead of ‘it’ there will be ‘he or she’. Really?

Which brings us back around to people that need to destroy tradition to gain power for themselves. Need to destroy the Constitution and the Bible…that would be quite effective, and there are people that claim to be Christians and Jews who will go right along with this.

Scriptual Civility

Jesus Driving Out the Moneychangers

There’s been a lot of discussion the past few weeks about civility, especially during political discourse. I’ve posted many blogs over the past weeks, since the Arizona shootings, excoriating the Leftists and their mouthpiece the Jurassic Press for their own lack of civility and hate speech when lecturing the rest of us on civility. Claiming that Conservatives were accessories to murder is way over the top, and naming specific people that weren't even there, as just as guilty of murder as the gunman himself.

What does scripture have to say about civility? It’s a mixed message. Here’s some passages of a sweet, charitable loving tongue.

 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Eph 4:29)

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be (James 3:9-10)

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19)

But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips (Col 3:8)

On the other hand, people of that day didn't have a problem having tough tongues.

Jesus said, “You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good?” (Matthew 12:34).

And Jesus turned on them and said, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are. “Woe to you, blind guides!…..You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel. “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. ….You hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean….And you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our forefathers, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ So you testify against yourselves that you are the descendants of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of the sin of your forefathers! “You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?” (Matt 23).

So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables (John 2:15)

Paul: O senseless Galatians, who hath bewitched you that you should not obey the truth,….As for those circumcisers , I wish they would go the whole way and emasculate themselves! (Galatians 3, 5)

We have the Bible expressing what we would expect; counseling understanding, love and charity. Surprisingly there’s a lot of angry words and actions, especially coming from Jesus, the holiest of men. Was he being uncivil?

Whenever I’ve do business with New Yorkers, I often find them rude and obnoxious. Speaking to each other, I'm sure they don’t hear that. In the West and South, language is mellower, less assertive. We can assume then, where you’re from, in time and place, is how civility is measured.

I’m certainly not going to allow the Speech Police, and the Thought Police, both creatures of the Left, to circumscribe my speech based on their notion of civility. I’ll call Maxine Waters or Nancy Pelosi knuckleheads, but that certainly doesn’t compare with a Leftist talker saying Sarah Palin 'is good masturbation material', or saying Rep. Rebecca Kleefisch obtained her position by performing fellatio and “pulling trains”.

It seems then that tough words spoken with love, understanding, and charity are optimal, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be toughness in the mix. I look at Biblical verses expressing both. The answer is in balance. "Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean."

Willful Misrepresentation of the Bible

Atheists and other Secularists willfully misrepresent the Bible, taking stories out of context to prove whatever point they want. In my discussions with these people, the foundation of their argument is that what’s in the Bible is what’s advocated by Believers. So all the rape and sodomy, lies and other bad behaviors is what Believers justify as acceptable in their [atheists] view. A couple examples would be the story of Sodom and Gomorrah when Lot offers his daughters to the mob outside his house to protect the travelers he had as guests, or the story in Judges (Chapter 19) when there was a similar situation, and again daughters were offered. Ultimately, and oversimplified, these are stories of what happens when we turn our backs to God. In many of my discussions with atheists, they forward these stories as advocacy for demeaning and raping women, and other stories as advocating despicable behavior; as if religious people have that market cornered.

Here is a story from pagan, polytheistic society. Using the same advocacy principle, is this about it being sanctioned behavior?

Plutarch writes this story circa 730’s BCE:

“[Archias] could not win over the boy (Actaeon, with whom he was infatuated), so he decided to kidnap him. He gathered together many friends and servants and went on a ‘komos’ (a group of drunken men in the streets at night after a party) against the home of Melissus [Actaeon’s father] and tried to extract the youth. But the father and his people fought back, and the neighbors as well ran out and engaged the attackers in a tug-of-war, so that Actaeon was pulled apart and killed. Archias’s party then made themselves scarce.”

Usually these “komos” or “revellings” were tolerated. Would one, using the advocacy principle, say that this was advocating murder, homosexuality, pedophilia, or rape? I’m positing the absurd to show the absurd. This is only a story of a bad event. The stories at the beginning of this piece were also stories of bad events, representing unspeakable behavior by everybody involved. From the Judeo-Christian perspective, they represent what happens when humanity turns their back on God.

The Apostle Paul, stating what we get when we have a society rebelling against God:

“And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.”

An atheist friend criticizing Christians’ behavior said she wished Christians would read their own Bible. I wish atheists would. Christians do read it at whatever level they can, and often fall short of the ideal of Christian understanding, belief and behavior. Often we misunderstand the Bible. That’s easy to do; it’s really complex, and rich, and full of everything about life. But they don’t willfully lie about what’s in it; and if it isn’t willful lying, then the criticizers should take some time to understand what’s being said themselves, before attacking what they don’t understand.

Bible Study-Got a Permit?

I just heard about this, but it happened in April. A pastor and his wife were visited by San Diego "officials", called "county code enforcement" on April 10 and were asked if they had a permit to have meetings in their home; and did they pray, use religious language and read the Bible, to which they said yes. They were then told they had to get a permit. The history of these meetings is that it averages about 15 people and has been going on for about five years. Wow! I'd love to have Bible study with that many people showing up on a regular basis! Apparently this was initiated by a neighbor complaining. I wonder if it were gang banging crack heads having dealer meetings they would have said anything. That idea by the way came from a question from Dennis Prager a few years back. He asked if you were walking down a poorly lit street alone, no one around, and five big laughing guys were coming up behind you, and getting closer, would you start getting nervous? When you got to lamplight, and saw they were all carrying Bibles, would you be relived or more terrified?

If you're having any kind of meeting in your home, will you be needing a permit? Families gathering on Saturday night for games, or book clubs, or...you get the picture. That government officials are so disconnected from the Constitution and not believers in Liberty no longer surprises me, especially in the age of Obama where the rule of law has been tossed out altogether.

It seems to me, not a Constitutional scholar by any stretch, that somewhere in the document it says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances." One of the officials said that this was somewhat of a "gray area". Say What???