Love and Courage

Due to traveling and illness, I haven’t been able to post for over a week, causing me to be unable comment at all during Holy Week, though I had a lot of thoughts and emotions relating to Holy Week. I haven’t been able to read much either, or follow events other than those in my personal life.

What was important this past week was the marriage of my brother and his long time girlfriend, which caused the traveling. During my brother’s speech after the ceremony, he commented he and his bride had just thought of going to the justice of the peace and city hall, only doing the things necessary to legalize the marriage. He said he told one of his close friends of the upcoming marriage, and the friend asked when the ceremony was, he wanted to come. Then another friend asked the same thing, and my brother realized that marriage isn’t just about the two being married, but it’s also about everyone that knows the couple.

Kevin Cronin, lead singer of REO Speedwagon, went up during the toast to the couple, and said he was moved during the ceremony, the vows, because these were two people that had years of life experience (both are in their 50’s), and were fully aware of the importance of this event and marriage; unlike young people full of idealism and dreams that may have an unrealistic view of what marriage entails, which is okay but shortsighted. That got me to thinking these past days of what mature love is.

We have the romantic of course, which set these thoughts in motion, of Altruistic, Eros and Agape love, of all the levels of intensity of these with all the layers of love. Doing some catching up reading this morning, I came across this idea of love as being courageous.

Fr. Scott Hurd, writing about the Resurrection, about Mary Magdalene’s love for Jesus, said she so missed her beloved, Jesus, she was the first to visit His tomb, and the first to see Him resurrected. The disciples had closed up in fear, discouragement and doubt; Mary searched out her beloved, and was rewarded. Her reaching out took courage. Love takes courage.

Fr Hurd writes:

“• We need courage to trust God, when we can’t see the road ahead of us;
 • We need courage to confess our sins when our shame would hold us back;
 • We need courage to witness to our faith in the face of injustice and ridicule;
 • We need courage to love others when we risk being rejected by them;
 • We need courage to forgive, when we’re afraid of appearing weak;
 • And we need courage to grow in holiness, when we fear the change that growth requires.   

 Mary Magdalene serves to remind us that perfect love casts out fear, because we love a Lord whose love for us conquered not only fear, but even death itself."

 I think this applies to our personal relationships too; our romantic relationships, family and friends. Love takes courage. We need to trust each other that we love, we need to be open to those we love, we need to be a witness to the power of love, we need to offer love even when there’s the possibility of rejection, we need to be forgiving in love, and we need to grow in love.

What my brother, Kevin, and Fr. Hurd had to say is so important, that love for one another isn’t limited to the lovers or people that love each other, love should be mature and meaningful, and that it takes courage.

  

A Thought for a Sunday Afternoon

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.

attributed to Jesuit Priest Pedro Arrupe

St Valentine, A Recognition of Love

St Valentine has become the patron saint of love of secularists, which I find amusing. There are 'cafeteria Catholics', and I guess 'cafeteria' any expression of Christianity. We have cafeteria secularists too. Islam and Valentine have another perspective, which I'll get to later.

On this day, there's special gifts, dinners, expressions of love. St Valentine martyred himself by refusing to give up faith in Christ and advocated for the true love of marriage. He recognized fidelity, dedication, and sacrifice, which any successful couple embraces. I know a couple that just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. I see them hold hands, and once after our choir finished the morning song, she moved over and sat with him. I heard him a few days ago call her 'babe'. It's astonishing to think of the commitment, healing, forgiveness, dedication, patience, fidelity and sacrifice to express the meaning of love for so long.

It's nice to have a day of recognition of love, true love, and its expression.

On the other hand, in Islamic countries, Valentines Day is against the law. The Morality Police (yes, an actual law enforcement agency) will arrest people that show love on that day. Islamic dictatorships every year denounce this day, and threaten people. I wonder how dictators think they can outlaw love. People die for it; have been martyred for it.

About Valentine himself, he actually existed. There exists a Roman catacomb and an ancient church dedicated to Saint Valentine. He defied Emperor Claudius II by not only helping persecuted Christians, but married them against Claudius' decree. He was beaten, stoned and tortured, yet still continued his ministry, even from prison. Finally Claudius had enough, and had him killed. According to tradition he was beheaded on February 14, circa 270 CE. Another tradition is that he had made friends with Claudius' daughter, and just before his execution wrote her a farewell letter, and signed it "From your Valentine".

Today we honor the principles of Valentine, of compassion, forgiveness, dedication, fidelity, and long lasting meaningful love.

Character of the New Man- Some Thoughts Entering the New Year

Looking to the coming year I don't see good things coming. I'm mostly an optimist and know things in the end of conflict will mostly end up okay. Right now though I see economic disaster because we have an anti-business president and political party in power. Those same people are dismissive of Judaic-Christian principles and values, and that does huge damage to the culture. With that in mind, I'll still have to fight them. I love my Faith, and I love Liberty, and both are threatened. I've moved a long way from where I was in my 20's and 30's when my line was, 'you're born, you suffer, you die'. Now I'm a religious man, and belief in God and Savior informs what I do. Apostle Paul wrote:

"Because you are God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with heartfelt mercy, with kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another; forgive whatever grievances you have against one another. Forgive as the Lord has forgiven you. Over all these virtues put on love, which binds the rest together and makes them perfect. Christ’s peace must reign in your hearts, since as members of the one body you have been called to that peace. Dedicate yourselves to thankfulness. Let the word of Christ, rich as it is, dwell in you. In wisdom made perfect, instruct and admonish one another. Sing gratefully to God from your hearts in psalms, hymns, and inspired songs." Colossians 3:12

As a society we've put these values to rest. I see no mercy and kindness, just incessant attacks by the State and it's supporters in politics and the Jurassic press. Rush Limbaugh goes to the hospital and those people cheer and hope he dies. Sarah Palin, a mother that has stayed married and raised a family with her husband, has loving parents, got involved in her community and effected good change, is hated and vilified in the most vile ways. What kind of culture is it that promotes the suffering of others?

I don't want to chronicle all the ills our country is suffering. All I can do is know and practice the best I can the values Paul says we as Christians must live, expressed from our hearts. We can only influence the small circle around us...be the stone in the small calm pond that sends out ripples. The waters are turbulent now, so we must use bigger stones of kindness, meekness, humility and patience. That's very tough, because the people in power now, politics and press and popular culture see those as weakness and gives them the right to force their ideology of command and control on the rest of us.

I pray for myself that I can, this coming year, be meek (I'll need to write about what that means later, it's not what most people think it is), kind, patient, with love in my heart. It's hard, especially now, because Christians are under assault, as are people that want the freedom to make their own life choices without the intervention of the State.

This year for me, more Bible study, lots and lots of praise, lots and lots of worship, lots and lots of singing praises, and sharing as much Love as I can, and express Thankfulness.

Faith and Love, Church, State, and Walls

I don't know where this quote came from, just that it's from the second century. It's about Love, and how those of us that proclaim God's Love, fall short of practicing it. Doing so has influence and consequences deep into our relationships; not just personal relationships.

“…we say one thing and do another. When they hear the words of God on our lips, unbelievers are amazed at their beauty and power, but when they see that those words have no effect in our lives, their admiration turns to scorn, and they dismiss such words as myths and fairy tales.

They listen, for example, when we tell them that God has said: It is no credit to you if you love those who love you, but only if you love your enemies, and those who hate you. They are full of admiration at such extraordinary virtue, but when they observe that we not only fail to love people who hate us, but even those who love us, they laugh us to scorn, and the Name is blasphemed.”

I wrote elsewhere today about the State, tyranny, separation of Church and State, and some of the personal decisions we make; denial of Love, or expressing it. I think that God is Love. At the macro level, the State builds up the wall between Church and State, between religion and State. The wall is in fact a wall to block Love. Is there Love in Nazism, communism, fascism, socialism, ancient Roman tyranny? Gulags, concentration camps, slavery, the murder of millions, holocaust? All these from a Love denying State. Christians and Jews fall short of expressing Love, but we try, know we often fail, and try again. The State, using brutal oppression or soft tyranny, has no Love.

At the micro level, I think euthanasia is a denial of Love. Abortion is a denial of Love. That is a child that will never Love, or be Loved. I think of sometimes people reach out to me, needing Love, and I don't respond because I'm busy, or irritated about something, or even don't like the person. That last is horrible to contemplate, its being so much in violation of Faith based Love.

And yet, I'm blessed by God, and full of his Grace.

Love, What Does It Mean To You?

Answers by 4-8 year old's:

"When my grandmother to arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love..."

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that you name is safe in their mouth".

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay."

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

"There are two kinds of love, our love and God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

'My mommy loves me more that anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when mommy give daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mon says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Romance III

Before my media detox, I was caught up in political arguments, news analysis, some sports (more during football season), my overwhelmingly stressful job and divers other things. Even though I worship and sing God's praises, these other things sometimes took center stage; I would loose the sense of God's romance, His love. I see it in others too; in religious, churched people. I have friends, when talking religion, talk scripture, chapter and verse. The Bible as a manual for living; like it's a rule book. I went to breakfast with a friend, and when I finished the blessing for the meal, I was admonished that I should quote scripture at part of the prayer. Say what? It's limiting. If we want to bring others to Christ, we should romance them, like God romances us. There is love and mystery here in our Christ story, and it's shared sacrifice, mystery and love. From Frederick Buechner's "Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy and Fairy Tale":

"It is a world of magic and mystery, of deep darkness and flickering starlight. It is a world where terrible things happen and wonderful things too. It is a world where goodness is pitted against evil, love against hate, order against chaos, in a great struggle where often it is hard to be sure who belongs to which side because appearances are endlessly deceptive. Yet for all its confusion and wildness, it is a world where the battle goes ultimately to the good, who live happily ever after, and where in the long run everybody, good and evil alike, becomes known by his true name.... That is the fairy tale of the Gospel with, of course, one crucial difference from all other fairy tales, which is that the claim made for it is that it is true, that it not only happened once upon a time but has kept on happening ever since and is happening still."

In this year I never want to set God aside in the narrative of my life. I want the Romance to mature. I want my life to remain a matter of the heart. I want my heart to sing in perfect harmony with the song of God's heart. I want this to be an epic Romance. I want to share this Romance, with all my heart, mind and soul.

Romance II

Love can't be forced. God could force it, create it in us, being God. Then it wouldn't be love. We wouldn't love Him with all our heart, mind and soul. God is about choices, giving us choices, so we can be genuine. God has a problem. He's omnipotent. How do you love someone that powerful? How is God going to court us, romance us, and win our hearts? From Soren Kierkegaard, "Disappointment with God":

"Suppose there was a king who loved a humble maiden. The king was like no other king. Every statesman trembled before his power. No one dare breathe a word against him, for he had the strength to crush all opponents. And yet this mighty king was melted by love for a humble maiden. How could he declare his love for her? In an odd sort of way, his kingliness tied his hands. If he brought her to the palace and crowned her head with jewels and clothed her body in royal robes, she would surely not resist-no one dared resist him. But would she love him?

She would say she loved him, of course, but would she truly? Or would she live with him in fear, nursing a private grief for the life she had left behind? Would she be happy at his side? How could he know? If he rode to her forest cottage in his royal carriage, with an armed escort waving bright banners, that too would overwhelm her. He did not want a cringing subject. He wanted a lover, an equal. He wanted her to forget that he was a king and she a humble maiden and to let shared love cross the gulf between them. For it is only in love that the unequeal can be made equal."

In the story, the king renounces his throne and presents himself to her as a beggar.

Just as God sent His Son. How much love can be offered that so much sacrifice is made? God entered his own creation and suffered for us and with us. The result of that love? From Romans 5: "For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His won love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life."

How great is this Love, that such a sacrifice is made, with no assurance of returned Love. This fills me with His Love. My heart sings. I hear His song.